History vs human dreams?
                              Khurshidalam44@ hotmail.com
 History keeps on changing its role. Sometimes it is like a humane medical professional heals very deep wounds,  at another inflict the most painful cuts in human mind. Sometimes with its claws distort the human face so badly that it is beyond recognition. At times dust the old faces who were projected to be worshiped and you see how repelling they are. It is history who makes dream of our cherished desires and we excel in life but at times it is the same history that crush our dreams and mutilate them. The compulsions of the history are both painful and delighting.

There was a time we nationalists youth try to keep away our people far from any thing that had reflection of Pakistan like its flag, its army. To day we are raising the flags of pakistan our homes and streets. We mourn the losses of the army with our martyrs. We invite them. We praise their bravery. We talk very high of their resilience. For their failures we search our memory to find reasons. Isn't it painful?

It reminds me of my discussion withthe education minister of first government after Najeeb left the power and took refuge in UNO office. It was a fine evening and we were invited for a dinner at the residence of late Afzal Bangash. He was discussing the compulsion of history.

He said that once he was asked by Sardar Dawood to go to Faisal Abad agricultural university and see if it can suit Afghanistan. He continued that he collected some courage and begged the president to give him any punishment but not to send him to Punjab. He took a deep sigh and said that look at the "sitam" of history that I am returning to Kabul after living in punjab for 17 years. The chapati and red chillies have reached before my arrival. Is it not the "sitam" oh history?

Today I feel pain in my chest that how the history slaughtered my dreams and many others. All those things I resisted in my youth are now in front of me in my old age. Left with no time to start my struggle once again. It is torturing my soul and wrecking my mind.  I am carrying a heart in my chest grafted with patches.

30/4/13